Mother: I think our son is going to be an astronaut.
Father: What makes you think that?
Mother: I spoke to his teacher today. She said he is taking up space.
A doctor says to his patient, “I have a bad news and a worse news”. “Oh dear, what’s the bad news?” – asks the patient. The doctor replies, “You only have 24 hours to live.” “That’s terrible,” said the patient. “How can the news possibly be worse?” The doctor replies, “I’ve been trying to contact you since yesterday.”
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