Funny Jokes

GODS are also I.T. Engineers BRAHMA System installer VISNU System supporter SHIV System Programmer NAARAD Data transfer YAM Deleter MENKA Virus!

Teacher Gave student Punishment To Write 5000 Times “I Will Not Throw Paper Airplanes In Class…” And Submit It Tomorrow…. Next Day, He Submitted The Paper Written #Include Void Main( ) { Clrscr( );Int N; For( N=1 ; N<=5000 ; N++ ) Printf(“I Will Not Throw Paper Airplanes In Class”); Getch( ); } Be A Programmer… Think Differently

Girl: Which computer do u have? Boy: I have a computer with intel core i7 processor at 3.3 ghz, windows 7, 64 bit, 8gb ram & nvidia gtx 560 graphics card. Boy: which computer do YOU have??? Girl: A PINK ONE !! What to say now.

A man visits God and says "God, do you mind if I ask you a few questions?" God says "No, ask me anything at all." So the man says "God, you've been around for a very long time, so, for you, how long is a thousand years?" God replies "For me, a thousand years is only five minutes." The man then says "That's interesting God. And, for you, how much is a million dollars?" God replies "For me, a million dollars is only five cents." The man says "Really? Well then God, could you lend me five cents please?" God looks at the man, smiles, and says "Of course my son. Just wait five minutes!"

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

A man died and was taken to his place of eternal torment by the devil. As he passed raging fire pits and shrieking sinners, he saw a man he recognized as a lawyer snuggling up to a beautiful woman. "That's unfair!" he cried. "I have to roast for all eternity, and that lawyer gets to spend it with a beautiful woman." "Shut up," barked the devil, jabbing the man with his pitchfork. "Who are you to question that woman's punishment?"

A man walked into a therapist's office looking very depressed. "Doc, you've got to help me. I can't go on like this." "What's the problem?" the docotor inquired. "Well, I'm 35 years old and I still have no luck with the ladies. No matter how hard I try, I just seem to scare them away." "My friend, this is not a serious problem. You just need to work on your self-esteem. Each morning, I want you to get up and run to the bathroom mirror. Tell yourself that you are a good person, a fun person, and an attractive person. But say it with real conviction. Within a week you'll have women buzzing all around you." The man seemed content with this advice and walked out of the office a bit excited. Three weeks later he returned with the same downtrodden expression on his face. "Did my advice not work?" asked the doctor. "It worked alright. For the past several weeks I've enjoyed some of the

Husband - Hai Dear,I Am Logged In. Wife - Would You Like To Have Some Snacks Husband - Hard Disk Full. Wife - Have You Brought The Saree. Husband - Bad Command Or File Name. Wife - But I Told You About It In Morning Husband - Erroneous Syntax, Abort, Retry, Cancel. Wife - Hae Bhagwan ! Forget It Where's Your Salary. Husband - File In Use, Read Only, Try After Some Time. Wife - Atleast Give Me Your Credit Card, I Can Do Some Shopping. Husband - Sharing Violation, Access Denied. Wife - I Made A Mistake In Marrying You. Husband - Data Type Mismatch. Wife - You Are Useless. Husband - By Default. Wife - Who Was There With You In The Car This Morning ? Husband - System Unstable Press Ctrl, Alt,Del To Reboot. Wife - What Is My Value In Your Life? Husband - Unknown Virus Detected. Wife - Do You Love Me Or Your Computer? Husband - Too Many Parameters. Wife - I Will Go To My Dads House. Husband - Program Performed Illegal Operation,It Will Close. Wife - I Will Leave You For Ever. Husband -

A man died and was taken to his place of eternal torment by the devil. As he passed raging fire pits and shrieking sinners, he saw a man he recognized as a lawyer snuggling up to a beautiful woman. "That's unfair!" he cried. "I have to roast for all eternity, and that lawyer gets to spend it with a beautiful woman." "Shut up," barked the devil, jabbing the man with his pitchfork. "Who are you to question that woman's punishment?"

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?" One boy answers, "We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie." "You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was." The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up. "Wow!," said her father, "That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?" "Wrong number," replied the girl.

A joke is something spoken, written, or done with humorous intention. Jokes may have many different forms, e.g., a single word or a gesture (considered in a particular context), a question-answer, or a whole short story . The word "joke" has a number of synonyms , including wisecrack , gag , prank , quip , jape and jest .(source: wiki)