Funny Jokes

A guy says to his friend, "Guess how many coins I have in my pocket." The friend says, "If I guess right, will you give me one of them?" The first guy says, "If you guess right, I'll give you both of them."

Nurse: “Doctor, the man you just treated collapsed on the front step. What should I do?” Doctor: “Turn him around so it looks like he was just arriving!”

Little Emma returned from the birthday party and her mother asked: “Did you say ‘thank you’?” “Well, no,” replied the little girl. “Y’see, the girl ahead of me thanked her and she said, ‘Don’t mention it!’ so I didn’t.”

Grandma and her little grandson were in the park picking up ripe walnuts on a beautiful fall day. “These are the kind of nuts your Daddy loves best,” she said. The little boy replied, “Maybe he likes these things best but the nuts I like are doughnuts!”

A doctor says to his patient, “I have a bad news and a worse news”. “Oh dear, what’s the bad news?” – asks the patient. The doctor replies, “You only have 24 hours to live.” “That’s terrible,” said the patient. “How can the news possibly be worse?” The doctor replies, “I’ve been trying to contact you since yesterday.”

It was the end of the school year and sam’s mother asked: “And were the exam questions difficult?” “They weren’t bad at all,” her son replied. “It was the answers that gave me all the trouble.”