A man sits alone on the couch with his soon-to-be
mother-in-law and the family dog. The man is so
nervous that his stomach begins to hurt and --
"Pfft!" -- he accidentally lets out a little gas.
He's horrified until the mother-in-law yells,
"Rocco!" And the man thinks, She thinks it's the
dog! So he lets another one rip, and the
mother-in-law yells, "Rocco!" again. Feeling
confident now, the man lets out a really loud,
big, fat, wet one -- "PFFFFFFT!" And she yells,
"Rocco! Come here before that pervert shits on
you, too!"
A doctor says to his patient, “I have a bad news and a worse news”. “Oh dear, what’s the bad news?” – asks the patient. The doctor replies, “You only have 24 hours to live.” “That’s terrible,” said the patient. “How can the news possibly be worse?” The doctor replies, “I’ve been trying to contact you since yesterday.”
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