Three men die in a car accident on Christmas Eve.
They all find themselves at the Pearly Gates
waiting to enter heaven. On entering they must
present something relating to or associated with
Christmas. The first man searches his pocket, and
finds some mistletoe, so he is allowed in. The
second man presents a cracker, so he is also
allowed in. The third man pulls out a pair of
stockings. Confused at this last gesture, St Peter
asks, How do these represent Christmas? Answer:
They are Carol's.
A doctor says to his patient, “I have a bad news and a worse news”. “Oh dear, what’s the bad news?” – asks the patient. The doctor replies, “You only have 24 hours to live.” “That’s terrible,” said the patient. “How can the news possibly be worse?” The doctor replies, “I’ve been trying to contact you since yesterday.”
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